I really need to stop pleasing people because I am only hurting myself. For real! For example; Today I called some one asking what they prefer for their birthday present. I was thinking of getting them makeup for a gift and her response was "Uh, I have mac". So I asked what she would prefer out of the choices that I had and then she said, "Jen, don't be so moody", I was shocked. I was just asking a simple question and I thought that she would be grateful that I was getting her a gift. After I hug up the thought that went through my head was, "how dare she". I am so offended! I go out of my way to get gifts for friends and family and what do I get in return from some people? Seriously, all that I ask for is gratuity in return and all that I get is crap like this. The past who knows how long I only get gifts from four people. One of the persons that get me gifts is my Mother in law and the other is my grandma. I know that both of them make an effort to go and get a gift for everyone. I think it is awesome that they remember me on special days like my birthday. I am counting my dad as getting me gifts because at least he sends me a card saying that he remembers.
Well I am sorry to say that I am not the one that can afford to get my nails done or get high end make up; most of my makeup cost less than three bucks. Just less than a year ago we found out that we had a ten dollar budget for food, gas, and clothes to live on each month. The first time that we lowered the bills it was only about 100 bucks so the grocery budget was 25 dollars a week. So far we have lowered our bills 240 dollars each month so we could go out of state to see family, to get groceries, to buy my kids shoes, gosh, we lowered them so we could do something!
So all and all I am just going to STOP! For real. I am just going to get gift for the people that would appreciate it. I am no longer going to get gifts for mooches that could save their money and get it them selves and just want me to buy them "things", I am not going to go out and get gifts for people that think that what I got them is just "junk". So if you are one the the two people that reads my blog and you notice that some of the kids are getting gifts and I "forgot" to get gifts for the parents this Christmas, you now know why.
And on top of all of this some of my family members play the emotion card on me. I hate the line, "Oh, you don't really want that, do you?", common now? Why would I chose it in the first place. Or the whole, "Oh no, here goes Jen" What the! Are they for real? Ok, look at me and my situation. Out of all of my sibling who has had a normal lifestyle? They are treating me like I am crazy and they are treating me like dirt and I really don't deserve this for what I do for them. When they do these crazy things I don't say anything because it's rude. I think that they are nuts. I don't understand what in the world that little hamster is doing in their heads. For this reason I am glad that I live thousands of miles away. I do miss them at times, I do love them, but I need space.
I am sick of this. This happens too often for me. So for now on, all of the energy that I spend pleasing other people I am going to spend that extra energy to pleasing Spencer, Texas and Marilyn. They need it. Yes, I am venting. Yes, it is late.