Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Mommy-Daddy Bank
Almost every one has herd the saying the "Mommy-Daddy bank closes when you turn eighteen" or "the Mommy-Daddy Bank closes when you get married". My "bank" has been closed for a long time and I know that. I don't mind but my "bank" has expanded to other "investments" of my life. I remember the last time that I asked my parents for anything. The last time I asked my mom for help on something was to help sew flower girl dresses for my wedding. Before I asked her she said that I could ask her for anything. Then after I asked her for that she said that she didn't have time so I relied on my Aunt that I love very much for all of the help. That was the last time I asked my mother for a favor. The last time that I asked my dad was when I was really sick, going to school and working full time. I asked him to help me with a loan so I could afford an operation to help me feel better. At first he said that he could help by giving me a loan but when I called and told him how much it would cost he told me to get a credit card. Both of these are learning experiences and I should thank both of them for doing these things for me. I learned how to do things on my own because of this. Out of all of my sisters I am the only one that has learned the lessons that these trials have taught me.
One of the outcomes of these trials have been that I am able to sacrifice for my husband and children. All of my sisters that have been married see what I have earned and see it as if it was just given to me. They oversee the sacrifice. This is hard for me because they just point out what I have and not what I have done to earn it. I feel crushed that they could have everything that I have but through their actions they choose not to. Just like a job, to have more, you need to work harder.
I have a sister that believes that I don't make any effort for my side of the family. With our income, the amount of time and two children living over ten hours away it is hard to go out and visit but every time that we go out there we do visit. It is not the same when my family comes out here. They normally just pass us up and hit the beach. I honestly have a really hard time with this situation.
During my Birthday this year I didn't expect much. Sense I have been married I might get a card or a phone call. This year I got a total of two phone calls on my birthday. I do make an effort to call all of my sisters and my parents on their birthdays and I send them out a small gift. My mom made more of an effort this year because I pointed out when I wanted to draw names for Christmas I wanted to do it because I thought that no one had money. I thought no one had money because for the past four years on my side of the family I was only getting a gift from my Grandma and my Dad (I feel like they spoil me because of this. Spencer's mom gets me a gift too. She is so sweet). I didn't notice this until Spencer pointed it out. I am alittle peeved because I did try to do the drawing names two years ago and then two of my sisters six months later said that they didn't like the idea so they vetoed it a couple weeks before Christmas. Then a few months ago, right after Thanksgiving and I gave out all of the presents that I got for everyone, my family drew names. I'm not surprised. I am flattered that they liked my idea a year later and irritated that they chewed me out for it when everyone agreed at first. The thing that I am so irritated about is that I feel like I am getting taken advantage of. I make such an effort to please them and show them that I love them and I get little to nothing in return.I truly hope whom ever is reading is learning.
I feel like I need to make a stronger bond with the family that I believe will not take advantage of me. Some of those people are hard working with full schedules so they are hard to keep in touch with. I am still trying.